Strengths and Weaknesses

It’s an overcast day in L.A., I love this weather.  It makes me want to slow down and think a lot.  I’m especially in my head today, and I began thinking about strengths and weaknesses.

I’m a believer in the idea that our greatest strengths are also our greatest weaknesses.  I see this concept play out in my life every single day, and to be honest I often find it to be really frustrating.

See, strengths are something that build you up, motivate you and allow you to take yourself to the next level.  On the other hand, weaknesses can scare you, they can cover you in insecurity, and they can hold you back from all the things you could do or be.  So when the same things that make you strong, motivate you and keep you in control of your life also hold you back and seemingly weaken you, life gets messy.

While I was driving around, thinking to myself in this awesomely gloomy weather, I made a list of some of my greatest strengths.  Here’s what I came up with:

1.      I love with all that I have

2.      I place a high importance on kindness and respect

3.      I am a communicator

4.      I am not afraid of expressing my feelings

5.      I am passionate

Ok, so that’s a pretty solid list of strengths right? It’s taken me a long time to get to the place where those are my strengths.  They are the things that I really want to be known for, they are the way I hope others see me and would describe me.

However, then I made myself think about some of my greatest weakness. Here’s what that list looked like:

1.      I let my heart get way ahead of myself

2.      I have an overly sensitive heart

3.      I often don’t think, I just say.

4.      I often say WAY more than was ever needed or wanted

5.      I get it in my heart how something will go, and I try to force it to go that way.(In short, I’m stubborn)

Eh, I thought.  I don’t like that those are things that make up a pretty decent chunk of the person I am.  I am not thrilled with that list....I am so thankful that that isn’t the only list.  

When I match up my two lists, I confirm to myself that yep, my greatest strengths look a lot like my greatest weaknesses.  As, I read the two lists side by side here is what I’m trying to teach and remind myself:

It’s great to love with all I have, but I’ve been given a heart AND a brain, I am supposed to use both.

Kindness and respect are really important but my definition of kindness and respect don’t necessarily match everyone else’s, so I can’t allow my heart to get bruised everytime someone doesn’t cater to the fact that I’m ultra-sensitive

Communication is really important, and no relationship can be healthy without strong, effective communication but communicating isn’t about just saying everything that I want to say, it’s more about using my words wisely, and in the correct timing, it’s listening and being open to other people’s viewpoints, and feelings.

I’m not afraid of being open and honest about my feelings and emotions.  It took a long time for me to get there, because of my sensitive heart, when I get hurt, my initial reaction is to pull back, and shut down. I realized that this doesn’t get me anywhere and I became a doormat because of it. However, now I have to learn that saying everything I’m feeling and telling someone every single emotion that is happening inside of me, probably isn’t necessary either. No one needs to be emotionally vomited on, especially by a girl who hasn’t run her feelings and emotions past her brain, for the “OK”.

I would never give up being passionate.  To me passion is proof that you love life, and the things that make your life what it is.  Passion grows you, and challenges you.  Without passion life would be black and white.  I love that I’m passionate, however, just because I’m passionate about how something should go, it doesn’t mean that is in fact how it will go that way, or that it’s even how it should go.  I can be passionate and desire a great many things, but forcing things won’t make them right or real, and I need to learn to remember that.

Now, I am at the end of talking about some my strengths and weaknesses, and I wonder how to close this blog entry.  I guess, the truth is there isn’t really an end because these will continue to be my strengths and weaknesses.  All I can do is go through my day to day life and remember that there are two sides to who I am.  My strengths will continue to build me up, motivate me and allow me to take my life to the next level. My weaknesses will sometimes scare me, at times cover me in insecurity, and if I let them, hold me back from all the things I could do or be.  At times my life will get messy, but I just have to stay focused on what I’ve reminded myself of today, and I have to keep working on making and keeping myself balanced.   

In closing, I just simply leave you all with this: everyone has strengths, everyone has weaknesses, and often times our greatest strengths are also their greatest weaknesses.  I encourage all of us to celebrate our strengths, while we work on keeping our weaknesses in check. I encourage all of us to embrace other people’s strengths and have grace for them when their weaknesses rise up, or show.