A Red Shirt And A Black Sharpie Marker

For weeks advertisements filled with sales on candies and cards have been shoved through the mail slot to my apartment.  At the gym I've watched countless flower and jewelry commercials play. Even Facebook is swarming with posts about how in love people are, or about how disappointing it is to be single this time of year. There is no way to escape that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I was pretty certain I would end up writing something about Valentine’s Day, since it is impossible to go anywhere right now without being hit in the face with the unavoidable fact that it is right around the corner but I wasn't sure what I would write about. 

When I was in elementary school I loved Valentine’s Day.  I loved going and buying cards for every person in my class. I would sit for hours at the wooden dining room table in our house with a class list beside me and thoughtfully determine which card each person I knew would get.  My mom and I would make some sort of dessert for my class party, and the morning of Valentine’s Day I  would get a ride to school as my mom helped ensure that everything I had worked so hard at making for my classmates arrived to school intact.

After elementary school I went from giving cards to everyone in my class to lovingly choosing Valentine’s Day gifts for my best friends.  Not being one who finds romance, my Valentine’s Days for the past 15 years have involved only two things:

1. Receiving a bouquet of flowers from my dad

2. Buying or making, then exchanging gifts with my closest friends. 

While I struggled with not having a significant other to share this day with for many years, I’m now at year 25 with no Valentine, so there isn't any sadness or bitterness left. I've come to accept that I’m single, for this stage of my life.  While I of course have times where I’m dissatisfied with the idea of being perpetually single I know that the truth is right now I’m supposed to be, or I wouldn't be. So rather than crying, or being pissed, or being bitter about the fact that I have no plus one in my life yet, I try my best to embrace it.  I try to focus on constantly improving myself, so that when a guy does come into my life, at the right place and in the right time, I am the best version of myself I can be.

With that goal in mind, I have pushed aside any sadness that attempted to come at me, in regards to the holiday tomorrow and I instead asked myself “if I’m focusing on being the best me what that does that mean for Valentine’s Day this year?” I’d be lying if I said tomorrow I want to celebrate being single, because geeze that’s not true, but I realized I need to intentionally delight in the love that I do have, that I have been given, that I have found.

There is a great love from God I have found. I believe and have faith in this God that loves me regardless of what I've done or where I've been.  He loves me unconditionally and asks only that I love Him, and others in return.

There is a great love from my family that I have known my entire life.  I have a family filled with people who would do anything for me, who I can call on night and day.  They have taught me the beauty and importance of selfless, grace-filled love.

There is a great love I have for my friends. Some of whom I've known for so long I couldn't imagine life without them.  Some friends who I've just met in recent years, even just in the past few months, yet, regardless of the length of time I've known these people, I have managed to find some of the most accepting and kindhearted people imaginable.

There is a great love I have for some guy out there. I’m not sure when he’ll enter my life, I don’t know who he is, but I know the kind of man he is, so he’s already inspiring me to be the most beautiful version of myself I can be.

So much love! All around me! In so many forms!

So, all day I was thinking about Valentine’s Day, and all the love I have in my life. I was trying to decide whether or not to write about any of this.  However, when I got home, I logged onto Facebook and as I scrolled through my news feed I immediately knew what I wanted to write about.

Tonight my friend posted a picture of a shirt her son Emmett made.  Emmett is a sweet little boy with such a big heart. The picture posted was of a red shirt with the names of Emmett’s “Love Friends”.  My friend explained that the names were of each of his kindergarten classmates and his teachers. The names fill the shirt in his perfectly, beautiful six year old writing.  As I looked at the picture the shirt touched my heart in such a way it almost brought me to tears…

I immediately thought about the hurt, loneliness and bitterness so many people will feel tomorrow and I pondered “What if we all did what Emmett did? What if tonight each of us went out and bought a Valentine’s Day shirt?  What if we took black sharpie markers to the shirts, and began writing the names of everyone we have ever loved, and anyone who loves us?”  I guarantee that if we are honest our shirts would begin to fill up quickly.  They may not fill up with names of people, who are in love with us, or those who we’d like to go on a dates with us this weekend, but they would be filled up with names of people who would do most anything for us. Family members, friends, acquaintances, past loves, maybe even some pets : ) Then say we each took the shirt we made, put it on and wore it around tomorrow.  Sure there might still be a little disappointment that there isn't a guy around to make a steak for tomorrow, and some melancholy when no roses show up with your name attached, in the morning, but how sad could a person really get if every time they looked down for 16 hours all that they saw was a shirt filled with the names of people who love and are loved. I imagine being surrounded with that much visible love all day it would be pretty challenging to stay down for long, it might even prove to be impossible.

Now, I doubt any of us are going to run to Wal-Mart with this idea I've presented tonight, to go out and buy the materials needed to make a shirt filled with our “Love Friends” but here is my encouragement for everyone.  Tomorrow, when you feel tempted to be sad, or lonely, angry or bitter because you don’t have a Valentine, take a moment to close your eyes and imagine that you are wearing a red shirt, with the sharpie’d on names of the  people who love you and who you love.  Take a moment to be thankful for the love that you do have, and have faith that you will find the love you desire.  Take a moment to count your blessings for all the “Love Friends” that fill your life right now, and know that this coming year, if you keep your heart open you’ll be adding more loved ones to your list, and you never know! this may be the year that you add a “Love Friend” that will one day also be your Valentine.